I Don’t Care
So sure, I know it’s been a couple days since I posted. I’ve been trying to make sure I get something worthwhile up here at least four days a week, and this week is already looking like like a stretch. But that won’t keep me from living up to the goal – I still have tomorrow, Friday, and Saturday, after all. The last couple of days, however, have been pretty busy. No excuse, of course; I can always find five minutes to jot a hello and a couple notes down, especially since I’ve got that mostly-wonderful AT&T 3G network on my side. Sure, it doesn’t work everywhere, but where it does work, it’s amazingly handy.
No real big news going on, except to say I have broken every stinkin’ rule I’ve set for myself for weight management this week. I’ve taken seconds, eaten snacks, and munched on sweets. I’ve not had all the water I ought to have. I haven’t hardly exercised at all. I ate white bread and cheese and mixed my starches and my vegetables and starches in the same meal. I ate chocolate, more than I should have, in the form of a candy bar and a piece of cake. And you know what? I don’t care.
That’s right. I don’t care.
I don’t care, because tomorrow is another day. I don’t care, because I got my shoes in yesterday, and they’ll facilitate me getting back into walking. I don’t care because no matter what I do right now, I know I can go back to losing the weight in a heartbeat. I don’t care, because it was worth it to do those things when a friend I hadn’t seen in five years dropped by. I don’t care, because I enjoyed myself. I don’t care, because it made it easier to take the family to see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince today. I don’t care for a lot of reasons, but none of them have anything to do with saying “screw it” to my personal future.
Tomorrow morning I will hit the track again. Tomorrow, I will go back to eating better. Tomorrow, my water intake will be what it’s supposed to be. Tomorrow is another day, and I’m really looking forward to the next few hundred of ‘em. Or a thousand. Or more. More than a thousand tomorrows. Ten thousand tomorrows. Twenty thousand.
But tonight, I don’t care.
That’s the right attitude, Simon. Wearing the hair shirt or flogging yourself mentally and emotionally will only make it harder to achieve your goal. “One day at a time” is, I believe, the appropriate method. (My wife is gone for three days to a conference; let’s not talk about what I ate today. I probably pushed up the calendar in my first heart attack or onset of diabetes, but I’ll see about doing a vegetable tomorrow.)
Thanks, Bryon. And yeah, it’s definitely a “one day at a time” sort of scenario, otherwise I’d go insane. I’m still looking at needing to drop between 250 and 275 pounds to reach my target weight, and I’m not the kind of guy who can set five pound goals. So I just keep chugging away, and when I mess up, I mess up… and then I get my Size 6XL backside in gear and back on course.
Plus, it’s always nice to indulge occasionally. Makes you remember that what you’re doing is for -you-, and nobody else. Even in my youth, I’ve discovered that nearly anything can be enjoyable when you remind yourself who’s in control (provided that person is you).